I am a big fan of Matt Haig, and I absolutely love Humans. With Witty eloquence, Haig shows humanity through the eyes of an alien being. In one awesome passage, he sums up how psychological ideas, based on circumstance, can be used to define or limit people, depending on time, address and the grass you choose to walk upon.
Matt Haig has written openly about his struggles with anxiety and depression, but this very insightful book questions social norms. This included the guidance offered by women’s magazines, as well as the roles we are placed into. While many of the insights made me laugh out loud (lol), it was the wisdom which resonated deeply and made me think.
The alien in this book was sent to imitate a college professor, a man alienated from his family, but by all accounts successful and capable from a social perspective. While this man had knowledge, he didn’t necessarily relate well to others. It was this aspect of the book that I have been considering, and particularly as it’s Black history month.
Knowledge, and particularly psychological knowledge, is constantly evolving, but often hasn’t been kind to marginalised populations or groups. Experiences are often invalidated or seen to be based on individual limitations rather than social injustices. As a therapist, I am aware of how conscious people are of the marginalisations they face, and how easily dismissed these experiences often are.
Struggling to be heard doesn’t only occur within the professional therapy session but within the academic community as well. I have listened to researchers from marginalised groups explain that they have been told to ‘bracket’ or set aside their experiences of injustice, to see it as a personal or subjective insight rather than a social experience shared by many. Of course, people within groups are unique, but social injustice impacts on groups. Disregarding injustice is not only frustrating, but prevents a deeper and wider psychological knowledge from shaping within academics. This in turn limits diverse insights within psychology from growing.
In Humans, Matt Haig shares that ultimately, it’s love which develops deep connections and adds value to life, and love depends on trust and the ability to tend to the needs of the other. As Black history month shows us, knowing and caring can collide, and it’s the raising of consciousness which enables a more just world. To truly make a difference, we can use our humanity to listen to how social norms impact on others, to use our voices to speak out, and to validate the experiences of people within marginalised groups.
If you feel unheard, don’t let this destroy your self belief or your potential. Find someone who will listen. You deserve to be heard, validated and given the space to shine.
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